have lifted the shroud.
i left bed three times today. first, to evacuate as they say. second, to eat. which i promptly regretted and then felt guilty for. third, to actually bathe. at about 7:00 p.m.
at about 8:30 my phone rang. i didn't recognize the number, so as usual, i handed the phone to Gabe. there is a reason why, which i relayed to the person on the phone. usually the numbers are just wrong. and then i have to have some sort of uncomfortable conversation about how young i sound.
the person calling has, i don't think, ever called me. so it was a complete surprise. and in my state, i probably shouldn't be on the phone. but gabe insisted the phone at me. i took it and immediately my mood lifted. i (and my last boyfriend) stayed with will in paris, my first time there. and just a few months before that, i had a crush on him when he was my music composition teacher. but it was unrequited (story of my former life) and i moved on (see boyfriend above). will and i were also in a vocal training class together and i guess that is what spurned the call.
he asked if i had been singing and then said a lot of very nice things about my voice. i (of course) accused him of a foggy memory. that chit chat really couldn't have come at a better time. he is someone i admire so much [he moved to detroit with a girl. was a mechanic. they broke up. he was i think 23 or so when he got into uofm. created his own curriculum and graduated from it, which has since been picked up as a degree offered there (non-violence studies). he lived in france for a year, is now fluent. moved to spain for a while. also fluent. graduated and moved to the west coast. is back on the east. i think we fixed an alternator together once. but it is my memory that is foggy.]
his pep talk has made me want to get into the soundproof room for one hour a day and practice. i am so horribly out of practice.
this other super smart dude is also making me feel brighter:
DAVE HICKEY: In my experience, you always think you know what you’re doing; you always think you can explain, but you always discover, years later, that you didn’t and you couldn’t. This leads me to suspect that the principal function of human reason is to rationalize what your lizard brain demands of you. That’s my idea. Art and writing come from somewhere down around the lizard brain. It’s a much more peculiar activity than we like to think it is. The problems arise when we try to domesticate the practice, to pretend that it’s a normal human activity and that “everybody’s creative.” They’re not.
interview in believer mag
and lastly, the first trans-gendered actor in a series, in a trans role:
dirty sexy money